Monday, January 19, 2009

Worry Meal

The other day we went through the McDonald's drive-thru and got some happy meals for the kids and Caleb said, "Dad, I'm so happy you got me a happy meal." To which I replied, "Yeah, It's a good thing we didn't get you the sad meal." Later Caleb said to me, "Dad, I'm so glad you didn't get me a worry meal." I wondered what would be in a worry meal if there was one. I thought that the worry meal might contain the following:
  • additives and preservatives
  • too many calories
  • too much salt
  • non-organics
  • bio-engineered foods
  • unidentifiable meats
It was then that I realized that the "happy" meal is, in fact, a worry meal. The only thing that is missing is to take away the toy and add a sheet of paper with depressing statistics like the likelihood of social security still being around in 30 years, the current death toll in Iraq, and the percentage of obese children in America. Instead of fun games and pictures on the side of the bag they could show graphs of the Dow Jones Industrial average over the past year or maybe the unemployment rate. Perhaps the worry meal could come with an extra side of guilt or self-pity (i.e a chocolate sunday.)

ps What IS a McRib?
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7 comments:

David S. said...

I can't confidently say what a McRib is, but you needn't worry about it anymore--I think. I seem to recall there being a sort of McRib farewell tour a few years ago, in which McDonald's made a point of letting us know that this was our last chance to get the McRib.

Also, there should be shards of glass rattling around in the Worry Meal, or perhaps a small sheet of jagged-edged scrap metal.

January 19, 2009 at 10:08 PM
Unknown said...

The McRib has made a surprise return, though I have a hard time imagining that there was any demand for it. It looks disgusting.

January 20, 2009 at 1:13 PM
Josh said...

The McRib is definitely back. I know because I just ate one, well, two actually ("Add a second McRib to a value meal for only a dollar!") The meat is gray, very processed and virtually tasteless. I can imagine an executive saying, "We'll just mold these biproducts into the SHAPE of ribs and then nobody will ask any questions." I can't believe I ate two of them...ugh

January 20, 2009 at 7:10 PM
Juliekins said...

Technically, you didn't eat two (in a row) because you generously shared your extra mystery meat sandwich with your beloved. Please don't do that again.

January 20, 2009 at 11:28 PM
Eva Aurora said...

You're hilarious. But now I feel strangely unsettled.

January 24, 2009 at 4:38 PM
Allyson said...

I can never look at McDonalds the same way again. Way to go, with all the depressing stuff.

January 26, 2009 at 5:50 PM
MKShelley said...

This is why I don't eat meat. What is it, really? Fast food meats were the first to go for me... precisely for that reason... because we'll never know the answer.

May 11, 2009 at 11:04 PM

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