The Epic Battle Continues

Check out this link to see how you can join forces with Mohammed Ali in the ongoing fight against tooth decay.

The Flossing Barometer

I've noticed that there are little indicators in my life that act as barometers for the way things are going as a whole. I generally don't think about flossing unless things are looking up. If I feel the desire to floss then I can expect that a high pressure system (sans inversion) is on it's way in, meaning a positive force and a general sense of optimism. Then when I do floss I feel hope for my gums and for the rest of my life. I feel good about the fact that in this one thing have brought my principles and my actions into agreement. When I am true to my gums I am true to myself.

Sometimes, however, when I look at the floss I feel a sense of sense hoplessness, like it's another of life's hoops that must be jumped through endlessly. Can one ever finish flossing? The answer is no. At that point flossing could easily be added to the endless tortures that the damned must endure in Dante's Inferno. Flossing, the dishes, work, diapers. Will it ever end?!

Luckily, I'm in a flossing mood.

Worry Meal

The other day we went through the McDonald's drive-thru and got some happy meals for the kids and Caleb said, "Dad, I'm so happy you got me a happy meal." To which I replied, "Yeah, It's a good thing we didn't get you the sad meal." Later Caleb said to me, "Dad, I'm so glad you didn't get me a worry meal." I wondered what would be in a worry meal if there was one. I thought that the worry meal might contain the following:

• additives and preservatives
• too many calories
• too much salt
  
• non-organics
• bio-engineered foods
• unidentifiable meats

It was then that I realized that the "happy" meal is, in fact, a worry meal. The only thing that is missing is to take away the toy and add a sheet of paper with depressing statistics like the likelihood of social security still being around in 30 years, the current death toll in Iraq, and the percentage of obese children in America. Instead of fun games and pictures on the side of the bag they could show graphs of the Dow Jones Industrial average over the past year or maybe the unemployment rate. Perhaps the worry meal could come with an extra side of guilt or self-pity (i.e a chocolate sunday.)

ps What IS a McRib?

The Unprofessional Blog Fiddler

I have decided to officially come out of seclusion and once again join the blogosphere. I must say that I missed me, did you? I will not give any excuses for my hiatus other than to say that forthcoming baby #3 (Gunner or Chastity), now in his/her17th week of gestation, has made life interesting.

I must also give a "shout out" to David Shelley who coaxed me out of blogger's block with his apropos fiddling comment (see last post.)

I find it sad that after a three-month absence I (still) have nothing substantive to say. Let's see, how about...Go Barack! Fix that BCS! Mark Shurtleff's got your back!