As you can see from the previous post, I must deal with strong forces of evil and ... distraction on a daily basis. To thwart such enemies one must be constantly vigilant and possess a unique skill set (taking one's medication also helps.) I have many skills(z), most of which would probably NOT be useful in the fight against evil. Here are just a few:
1. Matching the correct tupperware size to a given volume of leftovers to within 1/4 cup.
2. Making the occasional pun without meaning to.
3. "Skiing" down dirt slopes with just my feet as if I were actually skiing.
4. Opening the microwave on "0" before/without the signal going off.
5. Jumping at just the right time in an elevator to give a momentary sensation of weightlessness.
6. Playing "The Persian Princess" on the piano with my nose (requires a partner.)
7. Speaking Egg-Latin. (Eggalseggo egga deggead leggangueggage)
Forces of Evil, BEWARE! or at least stop laughing at me.
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4 comments:
I see your skills are as advanced as mine. Finally there is someone out there who understands my secret obsession with pointless accomplishments.
Have you ever been to New York City? I had the privilege of learning the elevator weightlessness trick in one of those really fast elevators in a high-rise apartment building in Manhattan. Sadly, this sort of ruined it for me, since every elevator I've tried it in since seems pathetically inferior.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xAVMnNiY3c&feature=related
You don't know me, but I laughed and laughed while I read this post. I mean, I wasn't laughing at you, of course. I think your skill(z) are to be admired. Maybe you sell yourself short. I bet you're the kind of guy who might also be good at pushing "play" on the remote just after the commercial ends and before the show begins again. That's a good skill, too.
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