Secret Code!!!

blah blah blaIh blah hblah balah bltah blaeh blah Cblah belah bllah blaih blahne blah Dblah bilah bloah blanh.

To Battle the Forces of Evil...

As you can see from the previous post, I must deal with strong forces of evil and ... distraction on a daily basis. To thwart such enemies one must be constantly vigilant and possess a unique skill set (taking one's medication also helps.) I have many skills(z), most of which would probably NOT be useful in the fight against evil. Here are just a few:

1. Matching the correct tupperware size to a given volume of leftovers to within 1/4 cup.
2. Making the occasional pun without meaning to.
3. "Skiing" down dirt slopes with just my feet as if I were actually skiing.
4. Opening the microwave on "0" before/without the signal going off.
5. Jumping at just the right time in an elevator to give a momentary sensation of weightlessness.
6. Playing "The Persian Princess" on the piano with my nose (requires a partner.)
7. Speaking Egg-Latin. (Eggalseggo egga deggead leggangueggage)

Forces of Evil, BEWARE! or at least stop laughing at me.

Super Villainy

In order to overcome my inner demons, or inner villains as it were, I am embarking on an ambitious project to characterize human frailties (particularly my own, though you might also be afflicted) in the form of super villains....it'll make sense, trust me. So without further ado, the first villain in the compendium is: UNTHOUGHT.



This villain's main objective is to erase any and all thoughts from the mind thus reducing the victim's brain to goo. As you can see, HE HAS NO FACE. Also, the body below the head consists only of smoky tentacle-like limbs with which he scuttles around. His translucense allows him to enter your field of vision without making his presence known. Then, just when you start having an important thought, like, "I should register the car" or "I think my wife is talking to me" he jumps in front of you and does his smoky hypnotic unthought dance, thus preventing the thought and replacing it with a desire to stare at a wall or watch SportsCenter.

Miscellaneous statistics:

Allies: The Nothing from The Neverending Story; the skeksi from The Dark Crystal that sucks out the podlings' essence.

Creep Factor: Did I mention HE HAS NO FACE!?

Tip to ward off: Start singing Feliz Navidad.

To Blog or Not to Blog

I really want to give this blogging thing a fair shake, but so far it's been rough going. This may appear to be my first entry, and it is...on this blog. See, I have another blog which I'm now going to abandon. It was supposed to be lowexpectations.blogspot.com . But, as you can see if you follow the preceding link, I'm no where to be found on this page. That's because I accidentally set my URL as lowexpecations.blogspot.com . See the difference? How's that for a self-fulfilling prophesy? You can expect more of the same fare on this ever-so-slightly improved blog (see? no misspellings in the URL!).