Parents Please Don't Sit on Your Children

Today I rediscovered a book that I picked up at a garage sale with the title, "Parents Please Don't Sit on Your Children." Despite the goofy title and a lot of pictures from the 70's, it is a pretty down to earth guide for non-punitive discipline of children and it makes a great case for alternative discipline methods. The kids have been crazy lately and we have been thinking about resorting to spanking. It was good to pick up the book to remind myself why I believe in other forms of discipline. It seems that when child behavior comes up there are always people that pipe up about how they spanks their kids and that it works and that their children are well behaved and that they can't believe that some parent let their kids "run amok" etc, etc, blah, blah, blah. Why these people are so bent on convincing me to hit my kids I can't say. My guess is that they want to believe that their methods are really the best even though deep down they don't really feel good about it. Also, people generally want to think well of their parents and if they don't want to fault their parents for using physical punishment with them.

The problem is that non-punitve discipline takes real skill and patience--something I generally lack. So while I have been reluctant to use physical punishment I do not necessarily have the skills to discipline my kids without it. But just reminding myself that I think there is a better way helped me tonight to be more patient with my kids and provide them with choices, diffuse situations, etc. I know it's possible to provide discipline, help kids to grow up to be useful members of society, AND maintain a loving relationship with my kids without fear of physical punishment being part of the picture.

It is easy to think of discipline simply as a means to control your kids and get them to do what you want. I believe this thinking is short-sighted, selfish, and can cause irreparable damage to your relationship with your kids. Discipline should really be about them and how to help them develop and grow in safe and healthy ways THAT ARE APPROPRIATE FOR THEIR AGE LEVEL. More and more people want kids to behave like adults mostly for their own convenience and not because it's good for the kids.

So unless you've taken a plethora of parenting classes or have a degree in child development, and have personally put the test every alternative parenting method out there, please don't preach to me about how to control my kids based solely on WHAT YOUR PARENTS DID TO YOU 101. The truth is that even though you think of yourself making a big sacrifice to instruct your kids on proper social behavior, you've taken the easy way out. And unless you can prove that your kids are happier, healthier, feel more loved, safe, and appreciated, and have a better self image BECAUSE you physically punish them, I will thank you very much to keep your opinions on how to keep my child from throwing french fries at you at the local Applebee's to yourself.

Phew! That's my first serious rant in a while. Now that that's out of my system I think I'll go back to complaining about unnecessary street signs ("OBEY ALL TRAFFIC SIGNALS") or halogen light bulbs (they can make any room feel like a convenient store bathroom.)